Self-centered

And where did people get that impression? That I'm a good writer?

Maybe they didn't know how much I struggle with writing throughout my school years. My performance was really unstable, so much that it surprised my teachers. I could excel at one time, and fail below average right the next time.

It only got worse once I entered the university. All the essays, assignments, project reports were some form of torturing in disguise to me. It didn't help that I was majoring in CNM. Imagine all the press releases, reports, news articles I had to write. Such a nightmare. I never scored well for writing modules.

How come people still think that I'm good at writing?

I don't know what to write.

I only write when I feel the need, the urge, when I really feel strongly about something. When there are thoughts and feelings needing to let out. Words then will find me, I only have to rearrange them a little bit.

My writings, therefore, are all about me. Those that move me deeply. Those that make me think, those that make me feel. You cannot force me to write about something I don't have any feelings about, because I cannot force myself anyway.

I'm such an amateur. A self-centered one.

Still think I'm good at writing? Think again.

haiz