Okay.
I'm not sure.
Maybe I overreacted.
Sorry.
but you have to understand :|
I've never expected this. All that time I wrote my blog without thinking of u guys as my readers. I just wrote what I thought.
I thought only my very close friends will ever bother to read my blog (which is not so easy to understand, and full of random stupid things).
I thought I know my readers, I know who they are, and they, of course, also know me very well.
Then one beautiful morning, I opened my gmail, and it notified that I've got a comment from "Ryan". For several seconds, I was thinking to myself: "huh? which one of my friends is Ryan?" 3:-o
Then a thought suddenly struck me hard. I wanna faint T_T
I hurriedly open that mail, only to be confirmed that it was, well, you, Ryan.
Gosh, I'm not sure whether you understand that, but my first reaction was ^%&^@%$^@$ (dun know how to describe T_T).
I don't know.
Maybe it's just my first reaction. To defend myself.
From showing my true self.
Because I didn't think you guys would read it, I didn't control the content posted here. And hence, I couldn't control what u should know about me, and what you should not.
I couldn't help feeling embarrassed, because I felt weak and insecure. I feel like I couldn't defend against you reading me. I couldn't pretend and I couldn't hide. Because I didn't know this would come. I wasn't ready.
Maybe after all, it's nothing much. You, as a reader, maybe won't understand much what I wrote here. Or even if you understand everything, why should it matter? Good or bad, it's just me, take it or leave it.
Yet still,...
It may be funny how people try to defend themselves against nothing.
But that's how life is. Funny. Don't you think so?
~ Rim ~
(This entry was written without knowing who will read it)
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