A happening year.

Jan:
- Back to school after a breakup, a tough internship and a memorable trip to Hanoi with friends. It was harder than I thought, studying after such a long break. And it was easier than I thought, coz I've decided to be a strong girl. Happy girls are like sunshine.

Feb:
- Lunar New Year in Singapore, when most of my housemates went back to VN. Do you still remember our last Tet? :P I do hehe. Pretty crazy huh? Something to remember, thou :))
And I'm proud of being ur best friend (Happy new year to u, dude)

March:
- Felt like taking a part time job, I searched nineo.com and found one post for a part timer. Applied.

April:
- Lud asked me to join the Ozstudio team. Being with Oz is a fun and touching experience, when I feel like what I'm doing can make ppl happy. Reading fan's posts and mails helps me to keep Oz going...
- Was really happy staying in Dovers with my housemates. Had that homey feeling.
- Started to be closer to Nam, a housemate. The guy is quite knowledgeable, and talking to him has changed my view about a lot of things and made me more open minded.
- Got a reply about the job earlier, which asked me to come by for a talk. I came to the office in shorts and slippers, chated with my future boss for around 15 mins, then he asked

"which year are you in?"
"final year"
"do you want to work full time with us in the future?"
"..."

May: the month of graduation.
- Friends started to say goodbye, which made me damn sad when I realized that I wouldn't be able to keep everyone by my side. We all have to move on.
- Officially graduated, stop being a student. No more classes, no more exams, but still staying in school, coz I agreed to worked in Science.

June:
- Got a friendly and cool colleague, Meryl. She is a really special girl whom I'm glad to know.

July:
- Graduation ceremony.
- My friend was back from his short trip and gave me a lucky charm. It did bring luck to me. Denfinitely. Thank you.

August:
- erm... quite crazy. I had to reject someone the hardest way possible :| I went from being understanding, to feeling threatened, to being scared, to being annoyed and irritated, and finally to being angry and frustrated :|

- being told a secret. Felt glad that I was one of a few ones that know. This definitely changed my view about the world. Had its pros and cons thou.
- A trip with family. I was happy seeing that I made my parents happy

- My friend's crazy "non-birthday" =)) but that's when I feel important to him :) can I say Happy birthday to u now? I think I haven't even said it to u =))
- We started moving. No more Dover, no more the place I felt belonged to. Everything was left behind, we came to Bukit Batok.

Sep:
- Join wushu. This is one of the best thing happening to me this year.
- disappointed with my friend. Was sad for quite some time, but then thinking of what he has done for me, I just let go.
- Buồn lo nhảm nhí b-( :|
- Signed the contract :)

Oct:
- Officially work at DBS as a research assistant. But I still dressed in a very "informal" way. A lot of ppl seeing me in school asked me whether I graduated. Still feel like a student.
- Started to gain weight. Ate more, sleeped more, weighed more.
- Had a stupid crush on someone, which made me feel really uncomfy. I just couldn't wait to be over the person.
- Almost lost my wallet. This incident, though small, made me realize that I'm blessed. I truly am.
- Disappointed about someone, and then... no more. Realized that I changed, while some person just didn't. Realized how stupid I used to be to wait for the person to change. Also realized that 1st love is not always that memorable. And everything was all gone. Totally. Leaving no trace. At all. Also forgot about ur birthday. But it was not even that important or remarkable to me anymore. I didn't care. I somehow wish I could, but I just couldn't.
- The wushu beginner test. I felt really happy. Got 2 prizes for myself: the trainee with the highest score at the test, and the best overall trainee. This meant a lot to me.
- Found out that Ah Piao also stay at Bukit Batok. And me and Hui Jun and Ah Piao took bus 963 together to go home, we formed the 963 gang :D Since then I could go home a bit later and stay with wushu a bit longer. That was great :)
- also started to be closer to Hui Jun :D a friendly gal who made me felt welcomed

Nov:
- Changed my view about someone, and started to be over him :) was glad. You are a nice and good person, I know that. But I also know that I should just give up on you if I want to be happy. And now I am xD
- Changed my view about another someone, and started to considered him as someone I respect a lot :)
- changed my view about yet another someone, and started to have a small lil crush on him (thou it ended fast, it still leaves a positive impression :P hehe)
- Been home for 24hours. A crazy trip, a lot of stupidity T_T. Been really down. That trip made me realize a lot of facts that I've been denying and avoiding all the time...

December:
- 1st time realized that being "cute" means nothing. Sometimes it may be even negative, but let's just stop at "nothing"
- A crazy night with some mind-blowing secrets revealed. Too much drama is not good for your health.
- My roommate went back to VN. Sometimes it's tough being the only girl in the house.
- I'm going back to VN for my dear friend's wedding. So so so happy for her, soooooo happy for her. It's gonna be super duper fun, seeing my dear friends from high school. It's been such a long time.

- Come back to Hoi An town after 5 years...

All in all, it's been a crazy year with a lot of happening, ups and downs. But I can totally say this: there were MORE ups than downs, and it was a good year for me :)

I hope next year will also be good <3

PS: These days, thou it's really fun and peaceful to be at home, there's sth I miss in Singapore.

dailies

1.Felt good about wushu. Made some progress, received some compliments, talked to some kind friends, learnt some new Chinese words and laughed at some lame jokes.
Jia you, Connie. I really admire your determination. Hang in there, we will be with you :) :D
Hui Jun, as usual, thanks for everything.

Sometimes I did feel out when u guys talked in Chinese. But really, things get better and better each day :P

(but really Ah Piao :(( u learning Vietnamese is making me crazy. Told you, it's difficult :(( why do u keep insisting to learn? :((
and STOP going around telling people "tam biet" T______T now the whole club just laugh at meeee)

2. :P
okay, you are back. You are still the same, with that really nice voice and cute smile. But that's all. At some points I totally forgot about ur existence.

anw, I'm childish and my feelings change faster than weather :P

3. I'm so gonna spend quite some money next Jan :| cannot resist all the cute things, thou Pearl told me that they are "too kiddo".

Anw, Pearl, you are underestimating me, u know? ;) I DO dress up and make up sometimes, dont be ridiculous /:) I'm not (that) childish anymore

See u in Vietnam, you'r gonna have to be surprised. *evil laugh*

4. I'm such a big time procrastinator :|
Things that I haven't done:
- send out the emails.
- ask about the course (the stupid ppl didn't reply any of my emails b-( i'm gonna have to call them directly) --> updated: next week the schedule will be out, yay!
- write script for Ozstudio :(( I'm really not good at this. Haiz. I would need to find more script writer soon. But who can do this? T_T
- buy my friend a wedding gift. Totally no idea what I should give her ...
- help Bo with her designs :((
- my work @_@
- borrow books from our library.
....

5. Hey.
:D
Actually it's not something special. Really not something special. at all.
Just that how easy it is for me to talk to you makes me smile :)
I think the crush is over. I don't really feel much. Yet, you are still somehow special

haven't got my Wonderwall yet

And all the roads we have to walk were winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding

And I don't believe in that. The one that would save me.
I guess we all have to save ourselves.

hu`m

1. i'm the kind of girls who always forget things. So the safest way is to carry with me as much as possible.

Take my wallet for example. It's a huge wallet, but not much cash inside T_T.
Instead, you can find: my ATM card, my EZlink card, my expired (yes) library card, my staff card, my medicare card, my cash card, my AlumNUS card, all kind of member cards, my hair pins, a lot of coins, my home keys, some cash, some VN cash, some receipts, and (this one is special) one lucky charm from a Kyoto's Fushimi Inari-taisha shrine that my best friend bought for me :D

That explains the huge thing called wallet in my bag :|

2. Listening to several songs of Taylor Swift recently.
Quite easy to bet bored with :| but pretty ok to listen to when u are working, coz it won't distract u :P

Yet there are also sth from her songs that attract my attention:

"And I don't know why but with you I'd dance. In a storm in my best dress. Fearless."

I'm someone who's timid and scared of a lot of things. So I don't know if someone like that exist, someone who can make me feel fearless. I doubt it :P

But that's beautiful :)

gloomy morning

I woke up and it was raining and I knew that today is not gonna be a good day and bcoz of the rain I had to take bus and I went to the bus stop and the bus was too full I couldn't get in and another bus was too full I couldn't get in and another bus was too full I couldn't get in and after 3 buses I decided to walk to the bus terminal and when I came I saw that I missed another bus and then I got in the next bus and it was too cold and I just washed my hair so it was still wet and I didn't have breakfast and I was hungry and it took too long to go to the school and when I arrived I realized that I didn't bring my umbrella and it was still raining and I was 30mins late for work and so I skipped breakfast and I had to run under the rain to my office and my hair was still wet and when I came my boss was still not there and I needed to discuss with her for my work and I opened my laptop and saw an email that basically told me that I screwed up sth badly.

And then, there's only one thing that calm me down:
my office's pantry.
with its wide windows, like wide eyes that always calm and dreamy.

hm

I'm cool :->

:|

Am I?

Let's just think so.

hm

1. Today the weather is especially good. I love <3
the sky is beautifully blue, with white clouds layered above the city, the wind is gentle, the sun is bright.
Everything is gorgeous.
Wish today were weekend :(( I wanna go outtttttttt and playyyyyyyy

2. Yesterday was crazy. I had a long talk with friends. Drama is never pleasant, isn't it?

Feel sorry for my friends, but I myself don't really know what to do. As I said to u all, the only person who can solve the problem is not one of us.

(haha, and I hate the fact that the person is still blissfully unaware of everything. Ignorance sometimes is really a bliss. /:) damn it.
On a side note, I realized the reason why I used to insist on letting You know, I wanted You to suffer hahaha, but maybe it won't work that way XD)

huhm

"Everything will be okay in the end."

Do you believe that?
I don't. It sound like a joke to me.

Why can you be so sure about that? Life is damn random, it's full of uncertainties. How the hell can you be sure about anything? At all?

Nah. You cannot be sure.

But I do believe that we can make it "more likely" to be okay in the end, by changing, by making an effort to change the situation, the condition, urself, watever.

Don't just sit there and expect that "everything will be okay in the end" if you never change.

Did you?
I hope so.

All the rivers run

This was posted on my FB, by Hui Jun.

And I really want to keep it.

Where would Thao Pham want to spend the rest of her life if she had to pick one place?

still vietnam ba.. though i hope it's singapore.. =)

I don't know what to say, as usual.

I'm not sure whether she really meant it.

I'm not sure where I will end up spend the rest of my life either.

If you ask me to pick one place, I guess she was right. Vietnam.

But, sometimes I feel lost, it's like when you are standing in the middle of running rivers and don't know which one you should follow. I feel like i'm torn between these 2 places.

True, Vietnam is where I belong to. But Singapore has become sth more than just a place where I live temporarily. I've got friends, I've got connections, I've managed to form some memories with this land... And so leaving is not too easy anymore.

I'm sure if that happens, I'll miss Singapore a lot. And I'll be sad, a lot.

That I can be sure of.

Am I too greedy when I want to keep everything?

I don't want to lose the past, nor the present. I'm afraid to think of the future. I'm too skeptical about forming new friendships.

Friends left me, and will leave me. Ind I left them and I'll leave them, too. Thinking of all the farewell hurts. What can I do? What's left ?

NHỚ

lóang thóang cảm thấy mình đang nhớ rất nhiều thứ,

mà mỗi thứ 1 ít,

mà chẳng thứ nào định hình rõ ràng.

this is sth I wrote before going back

This is sth I wrote last week before going back to Vietnam. I saved it as a draft, coz for some reason I couldn't publish it.

I didn't want to leave. Yet I had to.

I wish you all the best. I'll do watever I can to support you.

Again, I wish you all the best.

--------------------------------

I still remember the time when we shared the same house.

You sat in the living room all day, watching movies/Korean dramas and eating bread. I would talk to you about a lot of things, and so would you. Be it our childhood crush(es), our current crush(es), our dreams, our likes and dislikes, our plans, from stupid random things to more serious things, we did talk A LOT.

At first I just wanted to be there for you, when you seemed to be lonely and depressed with the tiring job searching process. But then I started to like it, sharing with you and listening to you. Those days were nice.

Then you came back to VN to work.

Frankly, I was sad. I knew it's best for you, that I should have been happy for you, but I just couldn't help feeling sad.

(Do u remember that time when I wrote a blog for you, yet you thought it was for another friend and you were jealous with her? =)) that's cute =)))

uhm

I've been missing you a lot. Your tender care, your understanding, your support. Sometimes I wish you could be here. Sometimes I feel jealous of your life. Sometime I feel jealous of your friends in Vietnam. Sometimes I just want to see how you are doing. Sometimes I just want to be included in your life, wanna be in there.

Hm...

I'm just a normal girl, but I've got all kind of interesting friends. Thou I dont really know why it happened that way (maybe I'm really lucky :P), but I'm so really grateful for that. Truly.

PS: I know I promised to love you if I'm gay =)) too bad you know that I'm not :"> but if you can somehow become handsome, then maybe I'll consider u :"> Yes, I'm superficial :">

. . .

I was about to go home.

I was standing outside that room.

She was sitting in that room with her friends, and I don't know any of them.

I was thinking whether I should go in and say goodbye to her once more. (I already said goodbye to her, but then I came back to take my bag), because I didn't want to interrupt.

Then I remembered that I wouldn't come back the next day.

That was when I was standing outside that door, looking in.

That was when I felt so damn sad.

excited

Friday: wushu training :x
Saturday morning: Toa Payoh with a friend from Vietnam.
Sunday: Jurong Point with Linh :x
Monday: wushu training :x
Tuesday: Floramisu :x :x :x (remember to ask Lud for a favor, please remember this, this is important, please don't forget, please, myself, don't forget)
Wednesday: still in Vietnam for half a day :x :x :x

That's for those planned already.
Unplanned:
- Dinner with friends.
- Movies.
- Flash forward.
- Lovely bones (gonna collect it from the library today :x)

Hihi. *bouncy music at the background*

I'm...

...alone.

It's not about being lonely and emo and such. But I don't know who to talk to. About Ozstudio.

Bư sent me the script she wrote. A bit short, but it's not a problem. The problem is that I still find it a bit too complicated and hard to understand. Too mysterious? Too much of personal feeling? Too much about Lud's new cafe (which not everyone knows about)? Dun knoe, just dun feel right.
(And I'm unable to write scripts T_T My Vietnamese sucks big time now, I guess T_T Now I don't even dare to write blogs in Vietnamese T_T)

Hm. Lud is too busy these days. And she's gonna still busy with her cafe even after the opening.
I guess I have to be the one who stays and looks after everything, the time line, the production, blah blah. But seriously, i'm not used to it :| I'm more used to being a slacker, being a pushover, being pushed by Lud, being a procratinator (I still am!).

I still send out emails regarding Oz, thou I rarely have any reply. I don't feel angry and such, just don't know who to talk to, don't know what to do T_T

Can I have a leader here please?

just a normal day...

1.

i wake up in the morning, so far away from home...

I booked a flight home, for 24 hours :|

Do first, think later :| I'm totally not an impulsive person, not at all. So I had to do everything real quick so that I don't have time to think. Not too big a deal anw. There, done already. :|

How I want to see Lud again, and meet her gang, those ppl who has helped her so much. How I want to eat her cakes, see her new cafe, or just simply sit there, and smile. And eat her cakes. Most importantly, eat her cakes 3:-o.

I guess I just desperately need a break.
"From what?" You may ask.
From all the unchanged. From all the unsaid, unwritten worries.
From being scared.
From feeling out.

Guess it's gonna be great, being back and all.

Really want to see Mom's reaction when seeing me at a place she doesn't really expect me to be: Home.
(and then when realizing that I've gained some weight =)) )

I'm gonna be home, for 24 hours.

"i'm leaving your town again
and i'm over the ground that you’ve been spinning
and i'm up in the air, said baby hell yeah
well honey i can see your house from here..."

2. Felt better thanks to Hui Jun. Thanks for the ice cream :) and for coming and for everything. Most importantly, for coming.
You made me feel welcomed. That's important to me.

3. Some quotes, as usual:

(when we were eating ice cream)

Rim: Hmmm... is it ok if I just eat ice cream? Only ice cream and nothing else?
Ah Piao: yah, you won't die ah... in the short run...
Rim: (nod nod)
Ah Piao: in the long run... well, we all will die anyway.
Rim: :| ...

(chatting when I was about to leave office)

meryl: u dabao-ing or not
Meryl: if u gg to eat then i can go for dinner too
Rim: (eh, 1st time knowing now to spell "dabao" haha)
murf: yah, from someone who sucks at chinese

(I know this is NOT good, but sometimes I wish that everyone sucks at Chinese just like you hahah)

procrastinator

1. Big time procrastinator.

Got quite a few things I must do, but been trying to delay all of them.

- reply a mail... T_T i'm not that interested.

- write two emails.... I hate bothering ppl, but sometimes I just have to be thick-skin, yes?

- buy books for my friend, have to come to Taka - Orchard T_T
- come to kami's house to collect the tea bags for Lud? around 20kgs some more @_@

- think of a gift for my lil bro :| still have no idea. I just dont want to give him a lousy present, yet my neurons are kinda lazy now T_T

- etc.

2. 2012 is good for entertaining. It's so stupid that it become more funny than scary hahah.

Anw, I guess ppl had to spend A LOT to make that movie, so paying several bucks for it is not too bad, I guess :-??

3. why the hell does it take so long for the washing machine to wash my clothes T_T ?

so sleepy.

i wanna sleep

now

now now

T_T

4. Oz this week is uploaded.

I felt bad. I didnt dare to listen to the whole thing. I delayed uploading.

Coz I felt that I didn't really make an effort to make it good. I did it because I had to have sth to upload for everyone.

I recorded in such a hurry. I felt sth wrong with the script, with Oz this time, with its direction at this moment, but didn't really have time to stop and fix it, or because I know it would be really troublesome to change everything.

And so I didnt feel right. so I recorded because I knew I had to, but I didn't feel right.

@_@

1. I should be banned from Popular until next month :|

Nvm, I bought myself a new fountain pen, with special nib hehe. Love it!

2. Today when I was having beefsteak at the food court in West Mall, the cleaning uncle looked at my dish and said (clearly and slowly): "Mis-take". Then he nodded and smiled and turned away :|

I felt glad that he turned away, coz I didn't really know what to say to him T_T

3. Went to dinner with the club. Ah Piao said that the numbers of foreigners and Singaporeans sitting there at the table were equal.

The thing is, thou many of the members are foreigners just like me, they can speak Chinese, which is unlike me.

Which made me a minority.

Which sometimes, somehow, reminded me that I don't really belong to this place.

Thou I don't know where I belong to.

(Ryan, if somehow you happen to read this, this may be considered as sth 'bad' that I talked behind everyone's back haha ;) )

I may like trying out Chinese just for fun, just like how Ah Piao asking me about Vietnamese. I may want to learn some Chinese words to talk with my friends because I like them and want to surprise them, just like how some foreigners sometimes say "xin cha`o" to me.

But I hate to think that I'm learning all those just to be accepted.

And so I stopped.

4. Just now I realize this...

NOT ONLY MY MOM IS ON FB, BUT MY AUNT IS, TOO!!!!! AND SHE'S ALSO STARTING ADDING MY FRIENDS!!!!!! OMGGGG !!!!

@_@

I want to faint. Or dig a hole and live down there. Or should I just deactivate my acc and just disappear on FB, for good?

I've never felt glad that FB is getting banned in VN by some ISPs. Should I now?

Rainy days.

1. I've never wanted to be a photographer. Ok ok, not "photographer", that word sounds too serious already. To be more precisely, I've never thought of taking up photography as a hobby. I'm not that good at it, I'm lazy to learn all the technical things, I think it would be costly to buy a DSLR, or I'm simply not interested enough etc. etc., you name the reasons.
But in times like this, when my office is filled with sunlight, when I look out of the window on this 6th floor and see the blurry buildings at afar, I wish that I have a camera. Not the one comes with my handphone, but sth that can capture this.

Because just half an hour later, the sky changed completely and there comes the rain T__T which makes it all so gloomy T_T

(if this is a note on FB, I'll tag Lud, MM and xuki :D :P)

2. I've been waiting for Cross Game's new chap since 6th Oct @___@ Omg, Adachi, what are you doing there in Japan? Have you forgotten about us already? I want to know the result of Koh's game, and also how Aoba would react. Been checking onemanga.com everyday T_T

3. Just receive the sms about the outing being cancelled :@) I guess everyone is being crazy with the coming exam now.

Seriously, I've always thought that NUS and NUS students seem to be too obsessed with final exams @_@ they make it sound like this is the utmostly important test of their life :|

Truth is, you have final exams at the end of every single semester throughout your entire student life. I suppose we should get used to it already?

Exams have already become a part of being a student. When you take a module, you're supposed to do a test at the end to see how much you learnt, isn't it? Studying hard is certainly necessary, but ppl keep talking about it as if they are going to the battlefield, to enter a war. With the posters everywhere "all the best for your exams" or "you are not alone" (this one is the best @_@), with the exam packages, exam answers, exam announcements, with everything exam-related, I feel soooooo tense :|

hm

1. Why are the titles too similar to each other? Coz normally my entry has no specific content.
Another way to explain is that I just cannot be bothered with the title. Who cares anyway?

2. Hm, it feels weird, starting to write again. Suddenly I feel so cautious.
I feel like everything I'm going to write is pretentious. Maybe it's not, but I just cannot get rid of the feeling.

3. Listening to "Plane" by Jason Mraz. It sounds like the saddest song by him. Even when I was working and not noticing, his voice in that song always managed to catch my attention. Always.

"I'm leaving your town again"
....
"Oh honey I can see your house from here
if the plane goes down, damn

I'll remember where the love was found"

Think I almost can really feel the pain.

"Dont mean to harm you

by leaving your town again"

How come today all of the songs in my list are all the sad songs :@) Hm hm.

4. Disclaimer: as gay as it sounds, I'm straight haha.

But really, she's a person with the best smile, really sweet, thou I wonder whether people think the same. Well, at least Lud did agree with me when seeing her pic, so I think there's a chance that there are other people who also see that.

Yet I also wonder whether anyone has ever told her that.

Or they would be just like me. Keeping thoughts to themselves. Afraid to let the person know, afraid to be misunderstood, afraid of everything, or nothing.

(Hm, actually there's only 1 thing I'd like to complain about her: didn't follow the guideline :-w now how huh? hm hm)

There, I opened my blog

There.

Actually I deleted some parts, some entries.

anw, from now on will still blog, but with more caution I guess.

Please don't hate me. Please don't judge me.

er ur er urm erm ahem

Okay.
I'm not sure.
Maybe I overreacted.
Sorry.
but you have to understand :|

I've never expected this. All that time I wrote my blog without thinking of u guys as my readers. I just wrote what I thought.
I thought only my very close friends will ever bother to read my blog (which is not so easy to understand, and full of random stupid things).
I thought I know my readers, I know who they are, and they, of course, also know me very well.

Then one beautiful morning, I opened my gmail, and it notified that I've got a comment from "Ryan". For several seconds, I was thinking to myself: "huh? which one of my friends is Ryan?" 3:-o

Then a thought suddenly struck me hard. I wanna faint T_T
I hurriedly open that mail, only to be confirmed that it was, well, you, Ryan.

Gosh, I'm not sure whether you understand that, but my first reaction was ^%&^@%$^@$ (dun know how to describe T_T).

I don't know.

Maybe it's just my first reaction. To defend myself.
From showing my true self.

Because I didn't think you guys would read it, I didn't control the content posted here. And hence, I couldn't control what u should know about me, and what you should not.

I couldn't help feeling embarrassed, because I felt weak and insecure. I feel like I couldn't defend against you reading me. I couldn't pretend and I couldn't hide. Because I didn't know this would come. I wasn't ready.

Maybe after all, it's nothing much. You, as a reader, maybe won't understand much what I wrote here. Or even if you understand everything, why should it matter? Good or bad, it's just me, take it or leave it.

Yet still,...

It may be funny how people try to defend themselves against nothing.
But that's how life is. Funny. Don't you think so?

~ Rim ~

(This entry was written without knowing who will read it)

a good day

1. I'm proud of us =D we tried so hard, everyone! Congrats on the medals! For those who didn't win: we still love you A LOT! I admired you guys so much for daring to stand up, for trying, for giving it ur best.

Just so sad that I no longer have a chance to take part in these stuffs :(( T_T

err urm err

[edited - sorry, Ryan =,=]

óe

mây đen ùn ùn kéo đi hệt như phim viễn tưởng @_@
mình ko nói xạo tẹo nào, hệt như mấy phim nói về ngày tận thế ah @_@ mây bay đến đâu mờ mịt đến đó, thui lui thùi lùi.

mèng ơi nó sắp đến chỗ mình gòi @___@

trời ơi cách đây mấy giây mình còn nhìn thấy cái building kia, giờ hết thấy luôn.

Rồi lun, nó tới chỗ mình gòi ;'(

how can I come out for lunch :-ss crazy weather :|

lah lah lah

1. November without rain is still november.
Just like me without you.

Yet, November will be really long. Super long for me.
Ngày dài khắc khoải.
Sáng thức dậy và tự hỏi lòng: có còn không?
Tối đi ngủ và tự nhủ lòng: đừng nghĩ nữa!

2. Nói vậy thôi chứ tháng 11 mưa đùm mưa đề, thấy mà phát ghét.
Hum bữa đi ăn dinner với bạn, mưa lâm thâm, mình lấy cây dù màu hồng ra che (còn có cây đó thôi T_T)
Bạn ngó mìn từ đầu tới chân: "wowww, you've got a pink umbrella":| xong nhìn thêm cái nữa "and a scarfffff"
(bữa đó wên đem áo lạnh, dzô office lấy cái khăn có sẵn đó ra quàng, tới hồi đi ăn thì wên bỏ ra, làm wê dễ sợ, nhìn như bà zà)

3. NUS càng lúc càng đông. Thiệt. Cứ đợi tới 12 giờ trưa ngó wa mấy cái canteen đi thì biết.
Hồi đó mình còn đi học, 9 giờ có bao giờ mún dậy đâu, khó khăn lắm 1 tuần có cái lớp 9 giờ thì lên bus thấy vắng teo. Còn giờ 9 giờ sáng là bus đã bị filled rồi, mình thiệt là hoảng hốt trước sự chăm chỉ của các lứa đàn em :|

4. hí hí, lấy lại cảm giác viết tiếng Việt gòi. đỡ thấy bị ngọng gòi =))

5. Mình làm dziệc cho dzui đây. Working for fun ppl =))

linh ta linh tinh

1. Yesterday, when saying goodbye to me,

Meryl: Bye, dude
Me: :|

Dude @___@ cannot remember anyone calling me that way @___@

2.

"You are too cute to be taken seriously."

This struck me. Hard. I saw it this way: "you are too childish to be taken seriously"

Is it why? that no one takes me seriously?

When will I grow up?

haiz/

food for thought, books for reading.

Last week, there was a bazaar in school, where they sold books at cheaper prices.

At first I bought The Alchemist, only to be scared away by its language, right from the 1st page. Maybe I'm not deep enough or wat, but it sounds too ancient/sophisticated/confusing/khó hỉu/khó nuốt and in general, too much for me :|

So within the day, I exchanged the book for another: "The 5 people you meet in Heaven". Well, easier to read, easier to understand, but just so-so for me. It's not captivating enough, the story doesn't really go anywhere, and sometimes I felt it tried a lil bit too hard to impress people. So I regreted buying it 3:-o (It was around 15 bucks, FYI)

Then I came across My sister's keeper. Here's how the summary goes :

Anna is not sick, but she might as well be. By age thirteen, she has undergone countless surgeries, transfusions, and shots so that her older sister, Kate, can somehow fight the leukemia that has plagued her since childhood. The product of preimplantation genetic diagnosis, Anna was conceived as a bone marrow match for Kate - a life and a role that she has never questioned… until now. Like most teenagers, Anna is beginning to question who she truly is. But unlike most teenagers, she has always been defined in terms of her sister - and so Anna makes a decision that for most would be unthinkable… a decision that will tear her family apart and have perhaps fatal consequences for the sister she loves. My Sister's Keeper examines what it means to be a good parent, a good sister, a good person. Is it morally correct to do whatever it takes to save a child's life… even if that means infringing upon the rights of another? Is it worth trying to discover who you really are, if that quest makes you like yourself less?

The drama and the complicated situation implied in this synopsis caught my attention. It promises a thrilling story. And it didnt fail to deliver that.

Okay, 1stly, lower ur expectation plz, it's not a perfect flawless story.
I don't really understand Jesse's behaviors (why the hell he had to do that???). I don't feel the 'history' between Campbell and Julia is necessary (jeez, why do people have to inject some kind of love story into a book? is it to sell more?)

But generally, I'm glad I bought it.
The writer took the readers through a complicated, delicate and controversial situation with a surprising clarity. The story sounds too dramatic, but when you got into the book, you would understand people, you'd understand why they behave like that, why things happen that way, extreme, but reasonable.
Telling the story under many characters' perspective seems to be a really good way for writers to help readers to explore characters' mind. I really love this mind-reading thingy :))

People are put in conflicts, dilemmas, crossroads where they have to make decisions. Big ones. And the way they think through, the way they come to their final decisions shed light on their personality.

I loveeeee Anna. Amazingly mature for a 13-year-old girl trying to follow what she feels right, despite knowing that no one will win in the end, and yet she still loves her family a lot. Def my fav character in this book. There's sth a bit mysterious about her (of course, she was holding a secret until the end), sth dark, sth complicated yet appealing, which attracts you, makes you want to learn more about her.

One last thing: Life is full of unexpected things. You thought you have prepared urself, but actually you never know what would happen.

linh tinh

1. deleted

2. Talked to Meryl about an unprepared soccer match:

Me: I was scared of hitting people. So every time the ball run towards me...
Meryl (cutting me off): ... you would run away :))
Me: :@) ok, you know it.
Meryl (shrugged): Yah, of course, typical you.

3. It's raining so hard out there, and I don't know how I can go out to have lunch now.

4. Seems like Danny would come to Singapore real soon :| recently i've been chatting with him quite frequently, but when he said "perhaps will come visit u for the weekend sometime"... :|

You know, when you chat with someone, knowing that he's in another country, all that time you kept happily assuming that u'll never meet the person, and then suddenly "i will pay u a visit sometime not too long" 3:-o
Nvm 3:-o

5. I'm working on a whole new part. DNA :|

lil lost girl

Pearl asked me why I didn't blog recently. Yah, I blog less. Partly because my stupid laptop and my home network don't like each other.

Another reason is ...

Well, I don't really know how to put it down, the way I feel. What to say? Normally when I'm mentally unstable, I'd love to write things down, to look at them, to access them, to understand more wth I'm having, wth is happening inside my head, to face them.

Maybe this time I'm scared to look at them. And everything is blurred. Maybe I want it that way. Blurred. Nothing is clear enough for me to see. And I dont want to see.

But, maybe it's not the best way. I don't see, but I still can feel it.

Jeez. The whole mess is in my head now T_T

Maybe I should just write down T_T coz I hate talking to ppl about all these.

bu`n ngủ

1. Bùn ngủ kinh khủng T_T
2. Just read this from somewhere:

Is it better to break your own heart or to settle for the second best?

Dun know.

:@)

Life is funny (Nah, funny is not the right word, but I don't really care)

There are people who are studying the whole university, dreaming of stars that are billions light years from us, of those objects that are too big for tiny creatures like us to imagine.
And there are people who study about virus, about cells, about whatever things that are too tiny for big creatures like us to imagine.
And the rest don't care about those, things that they cannot imagine, they care more about things that are their size :@)

Some study the future. Some study the past. Some just focus on the present.

Some think in numbers. Some think in words. Some think in visuals.

Some love to think. Some like to talk. Some prefer actions.

So, Life is funny. Cute. (Ya right, I tend to use those words for everything)

Nothing Serious

[taken n modified a bit from Nothing Serious by Justine Levy]

I don't even need to think about it to think about it, it's always with me, like a weight, a regret, a gentle presence, a huge despair.

:D

1. This is to mark down a day that I felt good. In times like this, such days are not so frequent, hence I need to appreciate it ^_^

- Didn't come on Friday. And 2 people asked me about that. that's enough to make me smile. Thanks guys, Branko n Hui Jin.

- I didn't expect that. The best I could think of is, well, the most hard working trainee kind of thing. So... er... er... don't know what else to say, really :| Thanks

- :D :)

- :D

- Got a friend who lives near me. Then hopefully I won't have to go home alone after trainings anymore =) Thanks for showing me bus 963 Ah Piao =)

2. But, still feel that distance. So near yet too far. So warm yet too cold.

:D

1. Hôm qua đi chơi với Linh và MM và mấy người cùng nhà nó. Tự nhiên thấy là tính cách con người ta nhiều khi rất là đa diện. MM coi vậy mà ko sợ commitment :)), ko sợ đám cưới =)), ko sợ/ghét con nít :@) hehe.

Thì tự nhiên thấy cuộc sống thiệt là thú vị hay ho. Thật đó.

Like I said, sometimes I think Life is so cute in some way :)

2. Hơn tuần rồi hong gặp bạn :@) lâu ngày hong gặp, gặp lại thấy bạn vẫn đẹp chai như xưa hahah
Tuần rồi bạn bỉu diễn lần đầu tiên mà hong cho mình đi coi, tại sợ =)) anw, hong bị bể show là đc gòi, lần đầu mà :D gonna be better soon.

Talking about lunch, Meryl was asking me sth about Arts canteen, but I totally had no idea

Rim: Maybe I shouldn't say that I'm from Arts :|
Meryl: Maybe you are not from NUS at all /:)

3. The test is gonna be on today. A bit nervous, a bit excited. I'm gonna come early. I don't know. I think I really like this.
No matter what you may say, no matter how you behave, what you think, what you feel about me, it doesn't affect the fact that I really like this.

tình tang

“thi thoảng thấy Rìm buồn an nhiên lắm, cái buồn bình yên, nhưng thi thoảng, thấy cái buồn đó khẽ rơi vào thinh không như tiếng thìa chạm vào thành cốc”

Buồn cũng sơ sơ thôi, “cái buồn khẽ rơi vào thinh không” vậy đó mà. Lặng lặng, an nhiên. Ơ hờ và thờ ơ như 1 điều đã biết trước, như là thấu hiểu. Hiểu rằng ko fải điều gì mình muốn cũng thành sự thật.
Thì như vậy sẽ đỡ hơn.

some quick updates

Recently I blog less (yes, though it's still a lot, it's less, ppl). Don't get all the comments like I do with FB, so I get bored sometimes haha :">

Also because I was getting busier at work (surprising huh? :)) ) and my laptop at home sucks :|

So, this is some updates:

1. Quoted:

A: I think I'm falling for him.

Rim: Which one?

Đang casually chatting:

B: Sao rồi?

Rim: 1. blah blah

Rim: 2. About Oz. Oz làm sao đây? T_T chưa có topic

B: từ từ, tuần này chưa cần lắm

Rim: uh. Với lại, 2.b) Vụ cái banner sao?

Rim: mèng, dạo này làm scientist, nói chuyện cũng có đánh số =))

2. Hôm bữa đi West Mall với Linh. Mình thì đang xìu xìu (dạo này mình hay xìu :|) Hai đứa đi ăn xong vô toilet rửa tay.

Mèng.

Mình thiệt tình là chưa bao giờ thấy ai sấy tay với vẻ mặt hớn hở vui sướng như vậy. Chỉ là 1 việc nhỏ nhặt, chỉ là 1 thứ nhỏ nhặt. Nó đút cái tay vô hand dryer với 1 vẻ hí hửng vui thích như thể sấy tay là 1 trò chơi vô cùng thú vị và hay ho. Nó đưa tay qua lại cho gió thổi phù phù những giọt nước ở trên tay, cười thích thú.

Rồi mình chợt tự hỏi, những thứ nhỏ như vậy cũng có thể đem lại cho người ta niềm vui lớn như vậy sao?

3. Ozstudio already has 116 fans :) Keep it up guys :D

I saw some strange nicks in the fan list and try clicking them. It returns 0 mutual friends.

What does it mean, guys?

Meaning that, Ozstudio has gone beyond our friend circle...

haiz

1. I'm a bit disappointed, you know?
Are you the same you? Yes. But how come didn't I see all these before?
Maybe I'm just too harsh. Maybe there's really no choice for you, and this is ur last resort. But you don't have to say all that for me to help you, do you know it?
I don't really mind it so much to help, but listening to all those stuffs makes me feel uneasy.

Haiz.

2. Been trying to ignore myself n my own feelings. Ignore! Ignore!!!!

haiz

Messed up a lot of things.

Always so ignorant, so careless, so absent-minded, so forgetful, so inconsiderate!!!!

Cannot do anything properly :(

but I cannot run away :|

:|

tức quá mà phát khóc luôn :|

...

1. Scanning the headlines on the news...

Those words that I saw quite a lot recently are:

- dead
- death tolls
- typhoon
- earth quake
- tsunami

2. "I think from now on I will only see you in occasional lunches"
---> =((

then have to remember to ask me out for lunch whenever possible, ok?
I had fun talking to you 'bout all the stupid stuffs. Laughed a lot =) Enjoy listening to your funny thoughts, hehe.

3.Haiz.

Cần quá nhiều nhận thức và dũng cảm để sống một cuộc sống thực sự trong thế giới này... (Phan Việt)

Why does living is so tough?
It's okay to survive, but much harder to really live fully.
Pearl just passed me some link.
How to learn to ignore yourself, your own fear, your own need to feel secured?

Jeez, I started to think too much I guess. T_T

:((

Đau quá aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
đi cà nhắc lun :(((((((((

wasn't so bad yesterday, but it got worse

đau quá :(( huhu hic hic hu hu

especially when climbing stairs :(( now cannot even walk normally

dot dot dot

1. I think if you want to do sth really well, you will need sth like a motivation.

Think I'm having one...

2. Mỗi tuần 2 lần về muộn. Hầu như mỗi tuần 2 lần đều về với nỗi buồn phủ ngang mặt như 1 lớp mây mù mà mình không thèm vén lên, cứ để nó đó, mịt mờ cả mặt mày. Buồn hiu. Thở ra nỗi buồn mỏng manh mà mêng mang như khói. Cho nên vừa nói chuyện mà trước mặt mình cứ thoang thỏang phảng phất hương buồn.

Cứ thế, mỗi tuần 2 lần, đều đặn như vậy. Tuần 2 lần buồn. Rồi sẽ quen. Và coi đó như 1 phần cuộc sống. Hi hi. :P

3. đi ngủ.

random updates

1. Yesterday I walked in the lift together with an auntie. She looked at my shirt for a while, then asked: "Is it NUS? the university?"
"Yes", I smiled.
"Oh", she looked surprised. "You look so small. Like secondary student"

Er, I didnt know what else to do other than smiling back. Can I consider it as a good thing to hear? After all, everyone wants to stay young. Though this time is like, too young. Secondary student :| Is it a bit too much? :|
Remember that time Meryl asked me about how District 9 was rated

Me: I don't know. I guess there should be some restriction, coz of all the disturbing scenes. But they didn't check my IC :|
Meryl: But don't you look like kids? :))
Me: er...

2. I'm not a handphone person. I don't bring it with me all the time. Sometimes in the office, I just leave it on my desk and go out for water. Or leaving it at home when I go for dinner.
And within 2 days, I saw 5 missed calls on such occasions. Five. No less. My office mates/house mates must have been so upset.

But, looking at the caller's name, I felt relieved that I didnt bring my phone with me.

I'm not playing hard to get. I'm not playing any complicated mind game. I'm not testing your patience, or mine, or whoever.
This is as simple as it is: I just won't pick up, I don't want to talk.

Even if my phone were with me at that time, you know what I would do. I would just simply reject the call.

I'm not being harsh. I just think I shouldn't waste your time (mine is plenty, so I'm not afraid of wasting mine, haha). So I want to give your a clearer answer. That's it.

Hope you would get over it soon.

3. Got the club's Tshirt.
I've always been wearing the smallest size. Except for kid's clothes. Yes, I did buy them for me to wear, but that's beside the point :-w
The point is: I SHOULD HAVE ASKED FOR XS SHIRT, NOT S!!!!!!!!!!!!
I didn't know there's XS size, so I ordered S. But this size is still too big for me :(( Looks like a dress when I wear it. I should never believe the Size tag of unisex clothes T_T

4. Congrats on getting in the summer program :P

5. Donated $15 for Ketsana's victims.
Meaning I'm left with $50.15 in my bank account.
With $20 in cash :@)
No worries, though.

6. A lil bit worried about my health. Sore throat again. Didn't go to PGP because of that :| huhu (I want to try the food, the food, the food :(( ). Coughing non-stop. I guess I has underestimated the cold last week. Please don't come back :(( I'm scared now.

But I seemed to gain a lil tiny bit of weight, yay! :D It's 38.5 kg!
Mom was really happy to hear that, she never trusted me in taking care of myself. Cannot blame her, though :))

Yesterday An also commented that I looked a bit FATTER!!! :)) I guess not many girls are so happy as me when hearing that. Hi' hi'.

7. Muscle ache :| From the shoulder to the arm to the thigh to the knees. Don't know why but even my feet hurt a bit :|

:D

Linh just helped me to send the Macbook pro back to Vietnam for my friend.

After clearing all my stuffs in the laptop, I copied for her 1 episode of Flash Forward. It was good, I wanted her to enjoy it.

I also left her some words in a note in My Document folder. Wanted to record sth like a msg for her and left it there, too, but this stupid Macbook doesn't allow me to do that without downloading a seperate app. I didn't want to install anything in her laptop, even YM and VLC was not installed, so I gave up 3:-o

Those are nothing much, really. Just some crappy note, some nonsense words,...

But I like to think about how surprised she will be when seeing my files inside :P Sometimes, just a small change makes a big difference. When she receives the laptop, it will be like no other ordinary Macbook.

Coz it comes with the Pilot episode of Flash Forward and two document files.
Coz it comes with little surprises.
Coz it comes from me.

:|

you know what? Sometimes you have to accept the fact that you cannot expect to have everything you want.

:D

Sometimes I want to say this:
"sometimes life is so cute."

~ Rim ~

tháng 10

1. Tháng 10 xanh. Tháng 10 mờ mù mịt những khói, mà sao tháng 10 trong lòng vẫn xanh.

Now that September ended, I woke up.
I always find the starts of the months fascinating. Because they are, after all, the starts of sth new.

October - the month of changes. And here I am, waiting for them to happen. I'm ready, and eager to see them.

2. I won't pick up ur calls. Sorry, but you have to see that this doesn't work. You are really too selfish, you know?
I've always tried to put myself in others' position to try understand. And I've been asking myself, what if I were you? Would I want to be treated like that?

And this time, no answer. Because I will never behave the way you do.
You never try to understand my feelings. Instead, you asked me to do things that you know very well that I don't want to do.

I'm tired of having to try to be nice.
Enough doing what I don't want to.
And I don't want to talk to you. At least until I could see that you've changed.


3. I love to sit by the window on the bus. Especially in the morning. With the sun shining above me, warmly.

4. deleted

5. Long time no see :@) you've been quite busy, so I tried not to borther you. I guess you still follow my blog regularly, so I used it as a way to update about my life. But I don't have much idea about how your life has been :-??
no matter what, I know you are capable. hi`. Just hang in there, ok?

:D

1. Thinking about yesterday, I still feel good :) Thank you :)

2. Today I went for the medical checkup. I came there at 11am, and by 12pm, everything was done, even though I was not the only one to do checkup there, meaning that included the waiting time :| they were damn fast @___@ chop chop, pushed me around for several station and then "ok, you can go now, we will send the result to the HR office"

The blood test was painful, though :((

3. Received the Arrival package :D My staff account and staff card are not ready, thou :@)

4. Today I needed to come to DBS office (Not the bank ok? :P It's Department of Biological Sciences :| ). So I had to SMS Meryl to ask where it is. OMG, it's reallyyyyyyy hard to find :| it's like "hang cu`ng ngo~ he.p, tham son cu`ng co'c, khi ho co` gay" :| Took me quite some time to reach there.

Me: Hey, I found it. Woa, I tell you, it's really well hidden :|

Meryl: Haha! not bad. Didn't expect you to actually find it.

=)) I laughed so hard when I read her msg. So skeptical huh? But realistic =)) Cannot blame her after all the time that I proved how good I am with directions =))

5. These days I blog more in English, not because I like it, but because I'm using Macbook Pro :|

My Acer sucks. this Macbook is a lil better, but still, having no separate plug for audio input and output is a bad idea. Really.

about today.

1. Deleted

2. about you, my dear friend. I thought I would be able to see you again this Dec...Now knowing about what you are having to deal with, I feel so useless... Why do you have to cope with such a life?...

We used to be in the same class... We were quite similiar in many ways. Me and Hoa and you often joked about how similar our moms are in the way they complain.

But now... why? why are you in a life that I cannot even imagine myself in?

It's gonna be so hard... Dealing with everything by yourself... I often tell myself that what doesn't kill you will make you stronger, but... why does Life have to test you so many times?

Now thinking of going to US to see you. May not in the near future, but I really want to...

God, or Buddha (since you are a Buddhist), or whoever up there, whoever able to, please bless her... She deserves to be happy. She's the strongest girl I've ever known...

When can I see you again?

:@)

1. Macbook pro simply sucks :| wth did they think? No mic input :| and the built in mic is so hard to locate :|

Luckily this one is not mine. I was broke at that time so I had no money to buy it, thou I was quite tempted, looking at the promotion.

So I guess "trong cai rui co cai may", me being broke at that time helped me to avoid being frustrated :@)

2. Yesterday I had to record for Ozstudio twice :| After recording it the 1st time, I tried listening to it, but no sound came out. I thought it was my laptop's fault, so I borrowed Nam's desktop. Still nothing. After blaming everything, from my laptop, to the desktop, to the speaker, to the mic, I realized that I haven't switched the mic on :|

Typical me :|

3. Finally I can hear Dream of Priscilla Ahn on Ozstudio. I've been nagging allllllll the time, so that we could put it on Oz, watever topic is fine. But Lud couldn't find any place to put it in, so a whole new topic "Dream" was born =))

4. Watching Lost again, with Linh :-ss A good show :|

Nam introduced a new show also, Flash forward :-ss quite thrilling also :-ss

haiz

tomorrow is gonna be a new day. It's always true.

I really hope that I will wake up with a fresh mind...

Need to: photo my stuffs. Practice. Eat a lot. Drink a lot.

Okay.

Tomorrow is gonna be a new day :)

=.=

Mom's on FB, and just one status of mine "sick at home" made her send me FB msg, FB wall msg, and 2 mails to ask how I am, though I've replied that I'm ok =.=

Did she think that this is the 1st time I fall sick during my 4 years in Singapore? =.=

Other times I just didn't tell her anything. But this time, thanks to FB, just one stupid cold can get she worried =.=

Next time how can I dare to put anything on my FB status anymore? =.=

Like what myparentsjoinedfacebook.com said, "Family. Can't Facebook with them, can't unfriend them" 3:-o now that I'm aware that Mom would see everything I post, how can I FB freely like before 3:-o

and of course, unfriend-ing her is not an option :|

:| complaining

1. Ok, I've waken up, and guess what? I'm still sickkkkk :((

Wth?

I mean, I've always believed in my 4-step cure: eat sth, take the pills, drink a glass of hot lemonade and go to sleep. When I wake up, ta-da, feel good like ever.

But this time, how many 4-steps have I taken already? :((

Last night I couldn't even sleep well :(

Now how am I supposed to come to school today? :( damn it

Rim is in the mood for complaining :|

2. I love the theme of this blog :"> but maybe I will still change to sth else soon. No reason, actually. I just want to try out other pretty themes :">

bad bad day

1. I hate being sick :( I hate it…
Been feeling unwell since yesterday, but still went to work, silly me T_T why all of sudden I become so hardworking huh? T_T wrong time, wrong place T_T. Now none of those stupid med works, I didn’t feel any better after, damn it. I don’t want to be sick, pleaseeeeeeeeee :((

2. I’m at home, alone in my room, and I’m just so bored :( the stupid network just goes on and off all the time (I’m writing down all these stupid thoughts in MS Word). Please let me be well T_T huhu
3. This morning I was out to buy myself breakfast. My so-called “shopping for breakfast” ended up with this:

• Porridge: $3


• Corn cup: $1 ( I shamelessly asked the ppl who were ordering McDonald’s meals to help me to order, so that I could buy it @$1)


• Avocado juice: $2.5


• 3 mini moon cakes: $2.4


• 1 chicken floss: $0.9

4. Was about to say that “I promise that tmr if I’m still sick I won’t come to school”, but realized that I have to come to collect the form for PR application T_T

5. I'm sorry. I don't want to be rude :( I'm afraid of karma :(

I know it hurts to be rejected, and I might as well be in your situation soon, but I have no choice.

Please, I'm sick, and I'm very tired. I don't want to see people when I'm sick, partly because I will easily lose my temper when I'm sick. So I get annoyed very easily, and I might hurt people easily.

So, STOP CALLING ME, PLEASE!!!!! :( I don't want to hurt anyone, so leave me alone :(

and, DON'T COME TO MY HOUSEEEEEEEE T_________T wth were you thinking, coming here? T_____T If you thought I will be touched, you were dead wrong T___T I was just freaked out T______T Jeezzzz, I'm sick and tired and I need to rest T____T I need to resttttttttt welllllllllllll, why don't you understand that basic thing? T____T I'm in no mood to talk to you T_____T

Huhu, don't push me. I don't know what to do. I don't want to treat you the way I don't want ppl to treat me. So don't push me, please T_T

Gosh, I so wish everyone would be able to find their right one easily, and knows right away who is and who isn't. That way we could save a lot of time and effort and wouldn't be hurt for nothing. T_T

...

1. Hôm nay bạn đi interview cho cái summer programme, kêu là "I'm flipping nervous". hehe. coi vậy thôi chứ thực ra hong đến nỗi vậy đâu. Khi bạn nói "i'm different from them. I don't think many people do mountaineering and love nature as much as I do" thì mình biết là bạn tự tin lắm hehe. You are right. Not many people are like you. Not many people know what set them apart from others.

2. Thứ 2 tuần sau sẽ đi làm PR, hy vọng là ổn, hic hic. Ba cái vụ giấy tờ là mình sợ nhất trần đời luôn :| sao mọi thứ hong thể đơn giản hơn thế nhỉ?

3. Vừa mong chờ mà vừa sợ nên thấy cuối tuần đến nhanh dễ sợ, xẹt 1 cái là sắp đến thứ 6 nữa rồi. Mỗi lần thứ 2 với thứ 6 đến là lại cảm thấy bất lực, và ko biết mình fải làm gì và làm thế nào.

4. Chời, cái bạn người Nigieria hồi làm chung Edge sắp wa Sing 3:-o ụt ụt. Mới đầu tưởng nó hù mình chơi, ai dè nó nhờ mình coi mấy cty web design ở Sing. Bạn này rất là hầm hố, lại hay trêu mình :@). Lúc nó nói mình hong nhớ ra tên nó, thế là mình google, ai dè ra mấy cái hình của nó hầm hố thấy ghê 3:-o iem sợ lun.

5. Uống avocado cho cố dzô, tòan là ice, hôm nay bị đau họng, mệt mệt, chắc có khi bị viêm họng rồi huhu :( mình ko muốn bị bịnh vào bữa thứ 6 đâu nha :(

6. Dạo này vẫn unstable, mà chẳng dám viết nhiều...

:-w

co' biet la tui bay nhu vay lam tao voi con Linh so lam khong ha? :-w

may dua kia thi khong noi lam gi, may cung hu` tao so xanh mat nua :-w

ngoi o trong nay nghe ngoai kia nhu vay, sot ruot lam co biet khong ha T_T vua lo lang ma vua so, khong da'm tho` dau ra ngoai nhung van muon biet o ngoai nhu the nao roi.

tui bay thiet tinh khong nghi den hau qua gi het b-( dung co noi la may van con tinh tao b-( may dua kia nhu vay thi tao so 1, ma may vay thi tao so gap 10 lan :|

lam on im dum con cai T_T on` ao` nhu the nay thiet giong nhu la tra tan tinh than vay T_T so mun chit'

dalies

1. Haiz, thứ 6 rồi. Vừa vui, vừa mong chờ, mà cũng vừa hồi hộp, vừa lo. Butterflies in my stomach.

2. Mẹ bị ốm :( huhu

3. Hôm wa  Linh với Nam lại phát hiện cái bạn hay nhìn mình nữa, còn mình thì vẫn chưa thấy mặt bạn đó, tại tụi nó thì hong dám chỉ, mà chỉ mình way lại nhìn sơ sơ cũng chả bít là ai hết :@) mà hong hỉu sao gặp hòai dzị ta, ba lần gòi :@)

Nói chung là gặp chuyện kì cục thì kể vậy thôi, mình bored wá rồi đó mà :@)

tinh tinh tang

1. Got the official offer. Now it's my turn, hehe.

2. Eh Nam, mày có còn đọc blog tao hong đó? Tao vít về mày nè hehe.

Mày hong fải là đứa con trai đầu tiên tao xưng mày tao (xuki, you are!), nhưng tao là đứa con gái đầu tiên mày xưng mày tao =)) Để rồi từ đó thiên hạ đại lọan, Linh đang từ chỗ xưng tên với mày vô cùng dịu dàng đằm thắm thùy mị đoan trang, thấy tao vậy cũng chuyển wa xưng mày tao luôn. Xuki nó thua mày 3 tuổi, giờ nó cũng dám xưng mày tao với mày, xử nó cho tao đi :-w Rồi thằng bạn mày, supposed là hơn tao 1 tuổi, mà nó thấy tao xưng hô với mày vậy nó cũng nhào dzô mày mày tao tao chung ụt ụt T___T, giờ tao đang hong bít mấy bữa nữa nó tới chơi nhà mình, tao với nó nói chiện làm sao đây, từ mày tao mà chuyển wa anh em coi bộ hơi bị khó :|

Nói chung mày là cái đứa super annoying, nhiều chuyện, giỡn dai, nói nhìu, xấu xí, có 1 chiện mà nói đi nói lại riết (b-( so annoying), cà lăm =)), khó ưa blah blah, nhưng bù lại, mày ở nhà cả ngày chỉ lên net với coi TV nên bít cũng kha khá, lâu lâu nói tao nghe. Ngoài ra tuy mày nhìu chiện nhưng mày nghe là chính, nói lại là phụ, nên lâu lâu tao cũng kể đc với mày nhìu thứ mà tao ít dám nói dzới ng khác, ví dụ như chiện bạn đẹp chai làm chung office =))

Thôi mày rảnh rỗi thì lên plan dùm tao 2 cái plan đó đi :"> mày bít đó, tao nhát lắm, tao tự làm hong nổi đâu :"> giờ mày chỉ đâu tao đi đó thui ah, mà mày đừng có chỉ bậy đó nha b-(

3. Yesterday when I saw you I was like " @-) wth". Chời ơi, hôm nay nhìn bạn mặc đồ mình mắc cười wá. =)) girly đột xuất =)) thảo nào kami hỏi mình là "đi với con trai hay con gái vậy".

It's always enjoyable having lunch with you, though I cannot remember specifically why. It's not some specific joke, some specific thing you do, it's just that your bubbly and cheerful way in doing everything. Who doesn't like a cheerful and friendly person anw?

4. But you, you don't look like one :( at least to me. You are nice and kind and friendly enough, but how come I find it so hard to talk to you? Is it supposed to be this hard T_T? I was able to talk and joke around quite a lot to other people there, but not you T_T.

...

Đọc Thơ Thi, thích đoạn này:

"Ngày mai, ngày mai trường lớp cũ Nhớ quá đi sân cỏ bạn bè Thành thực mà nói Em bây giờ thương anh ít hơn là thương ngôi trường nhỏ Em đang đợi ngày mai"

waiting again

Yes I am.

I hate all the paper work. Paper work. Paper work. Damn it. Just give me the contract, signed n sealed and the staff card and the salary :|

and of course, 28 days of leave :|

Jeezzzz

chủ nhật - chiều

1. Chiều chủ nhật. Nhà cửa đã dọn hết, rộng thênh thang. Gió lồng lộng ùa vào. Mình ngồi ở ghế salon phòng khách, trên bàn là hộp chocolate, gió trước mặt, gió sau lưng, ban công rộng mở sáng rỡ. Bên cạnh là housemates, nhạc xập xình.Mình khều khều Linh: "this, is what I call Living."

2. deleted

3. Ôi chao, mai lại là thứ 2. Không biết là vô tình hay cố ý mà người ta lại xếp niềm vui của mình vào thứ 2, để ngày đầu tuần tự nhiên trở nên tươi vui và đáng mong chờ biết mấy. No more Monday morning blues.

linh tinh

1. trong đống nhạc của mình, có 1 bài duy nhất tiếng Trung.Chẳng nhớ là bài này tên gì, hình như  của Jay Chou hát.

Cũng chẳng quan trọng lắm. Chỉ có điều là mỗi lần nghe tới bài này và 1 số bài khác nữa thì lại nhớ tới bạn, tại bạn share cho mấy bài này.

Hì. Chả hiểu. Nhưng mà mỗi lần nhớ tới bạn, thấy vui vui.

Chắc là vì taste nghe nhạc của bạn với mình khác nhau wá trời lun mà bạn vẫn háo hức dụ mình nghe nhạc của bạn.

Chắc là vì bạn là 1 người có thể tự nhiên như không nói mấy bài hát mà mình thích là "disgusting" mà vẫn hong làm mình giận, và ngược lại mình cũng le lưỡi nói 1 vài bài bạn thích là "disgusting" mà chả sợ giận. Taste nghe nhạc khác nhau dzậy mà bạn vẫn ráng lục cái kho nhạc của bạn để kiếm mấy bài mà bạn nghĩ mình sẽ thích.

Chắc là vì trong lúc đã ráng kiếm mấy bài hợp với mình rồi mà bạn còn lén lút cho mấy bài như cái bài Chinese kia dzô, mình đã la oai óai rồi mà vẫn anyhow copy dzô :))

Jia you :P

2. Get well soon. Hope you will be okay on Mon?

Haiz. I sigh every time I think of you.

tình tang

1. Hôm qua Linh nhắc "tao sạc đt xong rồi đó, mày muốn sạc thì cắm vô đi nha". Lúc đó mình đang bận lau tóc nên chỉ uh uh.

Sáng nay ngủ dậy giật mình nhớ ra mình vẫn chưa cắm đt vô sạc, đang nghĩ bụng kiểu này hết pin là cái chắc rồi, lồm cồm bò đến cái đt thì thấy nó đã được cắm từ lúc nào.

Hôm bữa mình ăn dưới nhà, gọi món canh cải xoong với sườn, Linh thấy. Hôm qua Linh cũng gọi món đó. Ăn xong Linh bảo là "hôm nay tao ăn đc nhiều cơm hơn đó. bình thường đồ ăn dở nên tao ko ăn được cơm, hôm nay ăn hết đc". Thì thấy vui.

Hôm wa thằng Nam wa phòng, chửi mình là "đồ khô cá sặc", xong 1 hồi chửi Linh là "đồ con mắm". Cái con Linh cười "con cá sặc ở chung dzới con cá mắm là hợp wá gòi". Mặc dù tao hong thấy mày giống con mắm lắm, nhưng mà tao đồng ý với ý kiến của mày, ụt ụt.

2. Ngủ dậy thấy đt với tin nhắn luôn. Làm gì mà thức khuya dữ vậy má. Haiz, bận ghê hả mày. Tao biết mày vẫn doing well, nhưng mà tao vẫn lo. Hừ, nếu mà muốn transform thì nhân tiện tập thể thao chút đi, với ăn nhìu vô, người gì ốm nhom hơn tao nữa.

Hm

1. Linh ngủ rồi. Còn mình thì mới gội đầu, tóc vẫn chưa khô.

Ngó lên cái list thấy còn vài cái vẫn chưa thực hiện, như là cái "chép nhạc". Chứng tỏ thời gian cũng trôi nhanh lắm chứ bộ, đâu có lề mề đâu.Cho nên có lẽ ko cần ước cho thời gian trôi lẹ lẹ lên nữa nhỉ, hôm nay đã là thứ tư rồi cơ đấy...

Định nhắn tin hỏi thăm bạn mà nghĩ giờ này khuya rồi, cũng ngại, thôi để đến mai nhé.

2. Dạo này mình hay nhớ đến bạn. Có vẻ là hơi nhiều một chút nhỉ. Hm, làm thế nào đây?

3. Tự nhiên muốn nhuộm tóc!

4. Cuối tuần này, rất tiếc là bận rồi em ạ.

5 bonus. Tự nhiên hồi tối đang đi bus cái nghĩ ra 1 câu hỏi, thấy thắc mắc ghê lắm. Về nhà le te đi hỏi. Nghe câu trả lời xong cái: "@-)". Chời ơi bó tay với bạn luôn. Nghĩ gì vậy chời. Tui biết là tui thiên thần thánh thiện tốt bụng bao dung, nhưng mà lỡ ko fải thì sao, acac, với lại lúc đó làm gì đã bít tui là người như nào, ecec,liều thấy ghê.

Có điều trước sau gì cũng vậy hí hí. Tức là tui thiên thần thánh thiện tốt bụng bao dung quá cho nên tự nguyện lun đó mà, hong cần ép uổng chi hết, hí hí.

Công nhận mình hay/dễ thương/đặc biệt/thiên thần thánh thiện tốt bụng bao dung  ghê hí hí.

yup

1. So, i'm about to leave my dear beloved office, hì.

linh tinh nè:

- chị Ấn Độ ngồi ở tank kế bên tự nhiên hôm nay nói chiện với mình, hì. Chuyện linh tinh thôi, nhưng mà trước giờ mình ít n1oi chuyện với ai trong office trừ boss và supervisor (I am the black sheep of the office, yes, I really am). I think she's quite nice.

- đi ra khỏi office fải nấn 1 cái nút thì cửa mới mở. thực ra cũng không có vấn đề gì. Nhưng mà có mấy lần mình đi ra, định đưa tay nhấn nút thì chú security đứng từ xa nhấn dùm mình lun (chú có remote hehe).

Nói chung chỉ là những thứ nhỏ thôi, nhỏ thôi...

2. Những việc mà mình fải nhớ làm khi về nhà:

• Giặt đồ để thứ 6 đi tiếp.


• Ăn no. Uống nhìu nước.


• Tập.


• Chép nhạc cho Linh.


• Mua Cadbury về gặm thử coi sao.


• Viết blog (nếu mạng không chập chờn bão nổi như mấy ngày trước)

3. Mấy bữa phát hiện ra mình lạm dụng emoticon nhiều quá, nên dạo này đang tập viết mà ko chen emoticon vô, có ai để ý thấy hong?  Thấy khô khan sao đó, hic.

Thứ tư, ngày 9 tháng 9 năm 2009

1. Tui đang cố gắng tập 1 thói quen này: saying "thank you" to the bus driver before getting off. Tuy nói dzị nhưng tui vẫn cứ hay quên, hic hic (if you know me, you should know that I'm reallyyyyy forgetful)

Thêm nữa là mình nhận ra là nếu xuống cửa trước thì mới say thank you được, xuống cửa dưới thì chịu. Vậy chắc có lẽ mình nên say hello lúc lên bus nhỉ? Hm Hm

Hong fải là mình phù phiếm màu mè mà bày trò ra cho vui. Tại hôm nọ lên bus C, có 1 ông tài xế say "hello" and say "thank you, have a nice day" to every single passenger, làm mình ấn tượng ghê luôn. I guess it's nicer to be that way?

2. Today is your first practice session, you sure will enjoy the studio, right? Must tell me about the experience later, okay? (thou you won't read this blog, I still talk to you haha)

3. Mọi hôm mình lên bus ngồi bên tay phải, hôm nay mình chuyển qua bên trái ngồi. Cũng con đường này thôi mà nhiều thứ mới khác. Mở to mắt ra nhìn cảnh vật bên đường, thấy cái xứ này không tệ như vẫn nghĩ. Mình thực sự enjoy quãng đường đi làm, dù xa và tốn thời gian, nhưng mình thích.

Hôm nay đến office lúc 10giờ, hì

4. Hôm qua lục lại 1 câu của Marc Levy mà Lud từng post trên blog:

"Bởi vì YÊU trước hết là chấp nhận một sự rủi ro. Gắn bó lòng mình với một người khác, mở ra cánh cửa nhỏ xíu đi vào trái tim mình là một điều nguy hiểm".

Well, trước giờ mình vẫn là cái đứa nhát gan. Sợ. Sợ đau, sợ nguy hiểm. Nhưng hồi đó còn nhỏ nên chưa ý thức rõ lắm là mình như vậy. Giờ thì nhận thức rõ, mình lúc nào cũng sợ insecure. Mình lúc nào cũng chỉ mong biết trước được kết cục. Coi phim không sợ ng ta spoil, đọc truyện thì lật trang cuối coi trước.

Có điều cuộc sống này là những trang truyện đang được viết ra, như kiểu truyện dài kỳ, vừa đọc vừa viết tiếp vậy, nên mình chẳng thể biết trước được kết cục.

Nhưng mình cũng là một trong những người đang viết nên cuộc sống vậy. Cho dù mình không thể nào một mình điều khiển mọi thứ theo ý, thì mình cũng phải cố gắng ghi lại dấu ấn của mình thôi. Dù sợ. Sợ.Sợ. Sợ ơi là sợ. Sợ bị tổn thương.

Hôm qua có người cho mình một lời khuyên là "open up yourself. Give chances."

How?

hí hí

1. vừa mò mò add được cái FB Fan Page lên trang của Ozstudio, mình giỏi ghê hí hí. Lud ơi dzô mà coi, coi xong đừng chửi, có gì em tháo xuống, em chỉ thử thôi muh hu hu.

2. hum nay ăn sớm, 11giờ là ăn xong mất tiu gòi hí hí, cho nên khi có người rủ thì hong đi ăn đc hí hí, hòan tòan chính đáng hí hí.

3. hôm nay mình nhớ đem áo lạnh, đi làm cũng ko đi lộn bus nữa hí hí. Hôm qua ngủ 1 lèo từ hơn 10 giờ đến sáng nên sáng dậy hong bị buồn ngủ, cũng ko nhức đầu nữa hí hí.

4. Should I just shamelessly put the link to my blog on FB? Guess not. This blog is too lame haha.

5. Bonus: dạo này ko còn than thở khi fải leo dốc đến office nữa. No more complaining. I'm still tired, and the hills are still high, the only difference that I don't complain about that any more.

hí hí.

thứ 2 ngày 7 tháng 9 năm 2009.

1.Đi lộn bus.

Vì thế mà thấy 1 con kênh rất đẹp ở Jurong East. Êm đềm như một dòng sông nhỏ rất hiền.
Vì thế mà thấy cảnh cây bàng đổ lá ngay ở Singapore này. Gió thổi muôn chiều. Lá đỏ xoay vòng trong không gian, dát đầy 2 bên đường. Người đi trong lá. Xe đi trong lá. Rơi rơi.

Âu cũng chỉ là một chuyện nhỏ, chuyện đi lộn bus.

2. Hôm qua Linh lục ra được 1 cuốn sổ tay. Tự nhiên 2 đứa nghĩ ra trò chép thơ, chép lời bài hát, hệt như những ngày sến rện hồi xưa. Chép được 2 bài rồi hí hí, dùng bút mực đàng hòang. Mà viết xong tay lấm lem đầy màu mực, xanh ngắt.


Singapore.
Thứ 2 ngày 07 tháng 09 năm 2009.
11 giờ 33 sáng.

Rìm.

yet another post :P

Những ngày này, đó là những ngày chờ đợi. Là những ngày tôi học cách kiên nhẫn. Là những ngày tôi học cách không để cuộc sống của mình trôi đi trong vô ích và bực dọc buồn bã.

Và vì thế, tôi không còn muốn gọi đó là những ngày chờ đợi nữa. Cuộc sống này chẳng đủ dài để lãng phí vào những mỏi mòn. Đây là những ngày tôi đang sống, trong những giới hạn hữu hình. Cuộc sống rộng lớn ko chỉ nằm ở những giới hạn, tôi học được rằng sống không phải chỉ có 1 cách, 1 đường. Tôi học cách tự tạo niềm vui cho mình từ những thứ giản đơn hơn. Tôi xoay mình, tôi như con suối nhỏ chảy vòng, dù gặp chướng ngại vẫn tìm đường mải miết.

Dù là những ngày tôi sống trong chờ đợi, thì mỗi ngày vẫn là một ngày vui.

Tui đi tắm đây :x hương hoa bưởi :x

1. Congrats, xuki :) What can I say? you did it, and you deserve it. Don't let ppl down ok? Long road ahead, but I know you are capable. You are. So, believe in urself. All the best.


2.deleted
3. Hùm
Tự nhiên để ý thấy mình có thói quen viết mà đanh số, nhiều khi 1 blog vài cái số, mà chả ăn nhập gì.
Suy ra,
1. Mình là người có khả năng tập trung kém. Chẳng thể nào tập trung đc vào 1 chuyện (trừ phi là chuyện ảnh hưởng lớn thôi :D) . Cho nên mình cứ nhảy cóc hết từ chuyện này sang chuyện khác chỉ trong 1 chớp mắt :|
2. Mình là cái đứa suy nghĩ lung tung. Cho nên trong đầu mình 1 mớ bùi nhùi vậy đó, chuyện nọ xọ chuyện kia, cùng nhau nhảy nhót lọan xạ ở trong đó :|

12 things

1. I want to see them soon, those ppl that don't know me too well, but are friendly and kind to me.
I want to see them everyday, not twice a week like now T_T. Coz they can help me to break away from what I'm thinking n feeling...
Nvm, I'll see them tmr

2. Talked to Linh about the homey feeling that I missed when we moved to this new place...

3. when will I stop writing crappy blog posts? :(

4. Still no reply. Will try one more time.

5. :(

6. will make myself feel better. I can do that by myself. I can. I can.

7. Number 6 suddenly remind me of what someone said to me. Sth like, though he was worried for me, he knew that I would be strong enough to be okay eventually, and that I wouldn't need his help.
Is it true? Like always true?
Haiz, guess so. So it means that I will have to cope with my own emotions, by myself. without any help. But it's still fine.
hoho, i'm fine.
Coz I'm Rim.

8. Just now, someone called me. Looking at the name of the caller, I know that I'm in no mood. And I just reject it, simply. No guilt at all.
Why should I waste my time with someone who doesnt want to help himself?

9. whoever read this blog and feel worried for me, please dont. 3:-o ho ho
Just a regular me, having thoughts.

10. All the best to you, xuki :) see you this Sat. I hate waiting

11. Miss you, Lud. You were not online today. I've seen a pic of a nice coffee shop in HCM. Lu cafe, 12/2 Nguyễn Thị Huỳnh. You can try visiting it? if you have time, of course.
Another one is Brick shop, 92b thạch thị thanh q1.
nah, I'm not sure whether they are good. I just anyhow say it :D

12. Haiz. I don't feel like going back to where my house is. It's just different from that time when I was at Dover, Home.

about Ozstudio =))

Pham Tuan Minh: truoc gio deu sen lon.
Pham Tuan Minh: anw
Pham Tuan Minh: may lua dao
Pham Tuan Minh: may di lam khi nao
Pham Tuan Minh: ma keu chan
Super Rimmy: tao bao tao di lam bao gio
Pham Tuan Minh: boc phet vcl
Pham Tuan Minh: the dua nao noi voi thang Long la di lam chan lam
Super Rimmy: di lam ... part time chan
Super Rimmy: :">


--------------

Pham Tuan Minh: lua dao
Pham Tuan Minh: truoc gio
Pham Tuan Minh: co moi thang 5 la du 1 tuan mot lan
Super Rimmy: =))
Super Rimmy: may bien di
Pham Tuan Minh: bon may lua dao voi luoi vai lua
Super Rimmy: thang 5 la thoi hoang kim
Super Rimmy: may ngon thi viet di
Pham Tuan Minh: hu`
Pham Tuan Minh: viet gie`
Pham Tuan Minh: viet may cai sen lon. kia a'
Pham Tuan Minh: de ot
Super Rimmy: chu gi nua
Pham Tuan Minh: co gi dau
Super Rimmy: tuong sen lon ma de~ ha
Pham Tuan Minh: pretentious mot ti la duoc
Super Rimmy: may khong co cach nao pretend duoc dau
Pham Tuan Minh: de cuc ki`
Super Rimmy: may kieu gi cung ko the nao em a'i mem mai diu dang duoc
Pham Tuan Minh: troi nang
Pham Tuan Minh: mua het roi
Pham Tuan Minh: xyz
Pham Tuan Minh: hoa dep qua
Pham Tuan Minh: xyz
Pham Tuan Minh: thay chua
Super Rimmy: =))

----


Super Rimmy: may ma chiu doc sen lon, tao cho may len ngay
Super Rimmy: cau ha`ng
Super Rimmy: =))
Pham Tuan Minh: tai sao lai phai sen lon.
Super Rimmy: tao thich the
Super Rimmy: =))
Super Rimmy: may khong chiu thi bien di
Pham Tuan Minh: the nhung dua ko sen lon ko thich thi sao
Pham Tuan Minh: nho~ 80% nguoi ko sen lon thi sao
Super Rimmy: bon no khong thich sen lon, nhung ma may se'n lon thi tao bao dam dua nao cung thich =p~
Super Rimmy: ten tuoi noi nhu co`n luon cho ma xem :x
Pham Tuan Minh: tao co thich dau
Super Rimmy: thi may bao may pretend ma :x
Super Rimmy: may thu viet sen lon
Super Rimmy: xong bon tao cho may doc
Super Rimmy: bao dam
Super Rimmy: ten tuoi may len nhu die`u
Super Rimmy: ai nay deu hay
Super Rimmy: tha ho ma noi tieng
Super Rimmy: =))
Pham Tuan Minh: hu`
Pham Tuan Minh: quen di
Pham Tuan Minh: hu`
Pham Tuan Minh: anw
Pham Tuan Minh: tao vua doc vua chui ma xem
Pham Tuan Minh: kieu
Pham Tuan Minh: "mot som thu mat me"
Pham Tuan Minh: "cai d' gi the nay"
Super Rimmy: =))

----------

Trời nắng. Mưa hết rồi. xyz. Hoa đẹp quá. Xyz.
=))

linh tinh

1. đi tập. Coach ko bít tiếng Anh, ko hỉu và cũng ko nói đc lun, cho nên cả lớp cử 1 thằng ra do direct translation cho 1 đám hong bít Chinese.

*
Mình: eh, me too
Nó (in Chinese): eh, me too (nhí nhảnh)
Kenny (chỉ nó): eh, don't act cute ok?
Nó: woa, direct translation mah :| (quay sang mình) eh, don't act cute ok? That's what he told you
Mình: 3:-o

* Thầy hỏi tại sao thích học môn này
Some guy: blah blah (in Chinese)
Nó (dịch lại): oh only 3 words: Learn kungfu.
(dừng lại suy nghĩ) Eh, actually it's only 2 words in English :|

2. Meryl, congrats on getting in the band and being the only female guitarist there :D Cant wait to see you performing.

3. I guess I won't have any reply :( sad

haiz

mình hay dùng giấc ngủ của mình làm thuốc thử cho cảm xúc.

Đang bùn cái gì, đi ngủ 1 giấc dậy ko còn nhớ gì nữa, tức là buồn nhảm vu vơ thôi.
Ngủ dậy mà thứ đầu tiên hiện lên trong đầu vẫn là nỗi buồn đó, thì mọi thứ nghiêm trọng hơn chút rồi.

Sáng nay ngủ dậy, mở mắt ra, thấy mình ở 1 nơi xa lạ, mà từ giờ về sau sẽ là nhà mình...

Từ nay đây sẽ là nhà. Nơi này mình sẽ ở lại và sẽ cảm thấy thân thương như đối với Dover? Sẽ cảm thấy háo hức muốn được trở về mỗi tối? Sẽ ấm lòng vì đc yêu thương?

xung quanh ngổn ngang đồ đạc và vali vẫn chưa dọn hết nổi...

Ngổn ngang. Và lòng mình cũng thế.

:|

mệt hết cỡ

vậy mà slept at 4am, woke up at 9am

giờ thì đang mệt + chân vẫn đau + đói + đau bụng (vì đói) + sổ mũi + chóng mặt

trời thì mưa.

mình thì buồn hơn mình nghi~

haiz

haiz ...

haiz ...

haiz ...

thở dài dzị chơi thôi chứ hong có gì

đủ thứ làm mình mệt chỉ mún xụm lun T_________T

mệt mà muốn nằm bẹp lun mà hong đc. Mệt mà muốn thở ko nổi luôn. Ê ẩm T_T

sắp chuyển nhà rồi, một nơi xa...

tự dưng thấy buồn. tự dưng muốn dừng hết, bỏ hết.

hu`

nhiều thứ going on wá

Me and my issues. My friend and his issues. My friend in Vietnam and her issues.

And all the waiting.

damn it.

ụt

tui thèm đọc lại "vừa nhắm mắt vừa mở cửa sổ", chắc là all time fav của tui rồi wá. Truyện dễ đọc, giản dị và phúc hậu như 1 nét cười bao dung, êm đềm nhẹ nhõm như là mưa đêm, như là cánh đồng, như là khu vuờn buổi sớm.

:D

....

tất cả giống như một miếng vải phủ lên để che đậy, để chống chọi với nỗi mệt nhòai chỉ chực đổ ập xuống. Nỗi chán chường. Niềm tin tơi tả. Nỗi sợ hãi.

vì sau tất cả những gì nghe thấy, nhìn thấy và trải nghiệm, tự hỏi làm sao mà mình, với 1 trái tim thiếu sức phòng vệ như thế này, và giản đơn như thế này, có thể tìm được 1 người thực sự tử tế? một người sẽ hurt mình ít nhất có thể?

nằm dài trên giường.

tuy vậy, cũng giống như mọi lần, rồi sẽ lại rơi mất như 1 giấc mộng.

and life would go easy on me, most of the time.

Most of the time. Most.

Yet no love. No glory. And no hero in my sky.

Nothing...

(xin đc cập nhật, bài hát này đã nhảy dzô thế chỗ cho bài "Sorry, put the blame on me" để định cư trong đầu tui hong chịu chui ra =,=)

hiu hiu bùn

Không ai tắm 2 lần trên một dòng sông.

Cũng chẳng ai có thể thay thế được những gì đã mất.

Bướng ương làm gì,

Níu giữ làm chi,

Rồi một mai tỉnh thức.

Xót xa chuyện qua rồi.

Xa lắc lơ,
người thì không giống người.

Thế là

Xòe tay cho bay mất.

Mà nhói lòng nhận ra, tay trắng tự lúc nào...

- Rìm Nhi/ Lài -

"Too many things" explained.

1. Friends. Different friends. Amazing friends. All amazing but still so so so different from each other. And I'm glad and happy.

2. Ozstudio. It's just sad. Kami seems to still remember that "bao tay" phrase. I recorded that paragraph again and again and again, still unsatisfied with the result. FML.
Anw, be strong, Lud. It's just the beginning of autumn.

3. Everytime I think about you, I'm just scared. Why do I always feel that you two are too alike, to similar to each other?
and that hurt me (yes, hurt) having to end your call that way. I guess that call was truly the last?

anw, haiz, in this case I don't think I'm wrong, or guilty. But I guess we can say "I'll be the reason for your pain, so you can put the blame on me"
I'm sorry :(

4. I used Linh's laptop and opened her FB. Saw your notes. Read them all, and felt that you are still the guy of the past. Sweet and caring. Very sweet and caring. But it takes a lot more than that, right? You are still childish and unstable?
Life's ups and downs. I wish you would have enough courage to go through this difficult phase.
If only you are more mature, your girl will be the happiest girl on earth. If only. If only. If only.
Why is it so hard?

long time no blog

1. Strong girl. Ít nhất 4 người nói tui như vậy rồi.

Ngoc: you're pretty strong ma
Ngoc: though u may not be fully aware of it

Do you think I don't know that?

những ngày khổ sở nhất, khi người ta an ủi mình, bao giờ cũng là câu "rồi từ từ mọi thứ sẽ ổn". I knew, even then I knew, I just needed time, but even then I knew that eventually things will be okay.

2. Bùa là bùa của ta >:)

Thực tế tui là người hơi hơi khó tính với quà cáp. Ai tặng quà cho tui thì tui cảm động, tui vui vì người ta thương quý tui chứ nhìu khi cái món quà tui cũng chưa thấy thích lắm. Đó giờ có ít quà làm tui vừa ý lắm :@)

Bùa bùa :(( chơi ơi em tui nó thi được điểm cao :(( tui mừng :(( lucky charm :">

(tới đây mừng wá hết bít nói gì, im lun, xin cám ơn các bạn đã đọc tới đây, hẹn gặp lại kì sau)

conversation

Yu: rồi, cho anh số ĐT anh wa lấy đồ
Rìm: lấy số ĐT nhà nha 3:-o
Yu: hả? hong có số di động hả?
Rìm: lấy số nhà dễ có người nhấc máy hơn số di động 3:-o chiều này Chi gọi 5 missed calls xong nản quá xin số nhà luôn rồi
Rìm: nhưng mà nếu anh thích có số di động gọi chơi cho dzui thì cũng được thôi 3:-o
Rìm: hên xui, lâu lâu biết đâu tự dưng có người nhấc máy 3:-o

haiz

....
we've got lots of common friends...
should I remove our common friends, too?

The Highlights part of FB keep showing me ur pics.

Today I saw them. I clicked. Opened them.
Mom saw.

FML

vì có ng gào khóc kiu tui vít blog...

có nhiều thứ mà tui muốn ghi lại.

1. Căn nhà của bà.
Nhà chung cư, đối diện nhà tui, cách cái hành lang, từ cửa nhà tui đến cửa nhà bà là 4 bước chân, tui đếm rồi.
Vậy mà như bước vào 1 thế giới khác. Bình lặng an nhiên. Nơi mà dường như thời gian dừng ngòai cánh cửa.
Trước Lud hay nói đến chuyện sống 1mình, tui thường nghi ngờ điều đó. Tui từ sau KL thì khả năng ở 1 mình đã giảm đáng kể. Thích có bạn bè, thích thấy mình nhiều bạn.
Mà bước vào nhà bà, thì tôi biết, chỉ cần tôi ở đây, hoặc nơi nào giống thế này, tôi có thể sống 1 mình tốt thôi.
Nhớ những ngày còn nhỏ, những ngày hè ở nhà 1 mình, đọc những cuốn sách mà tui đọc ko bít bao nhiu lần rồi mà vẫn ko chán, ăn ngủ, tưới cây, cho cá ăn, làm bài tập hè, lôi ghế ngắm người qua lại ngòai hành lang...
Không có bạn bè, ko thấy cần đi chơi.
Bây giờ mỗi lần bước vào nhà bà, là tui cũng thế. Tự nhiên thấy ko cần đi chơi đâu, ko cần gặp gỡ nói chuyện với ai, ko cần cả Internet hay đthọai.
Chỉ cần có 1 ngôi nhà, nơi bão dừng sau cánh cửa.

2. Những gì cần làm từ vài năm trước, bây giờ đã được làm. Hy vọng ổn.

- Good girl.
- Of course.
- Bad girl
- Huh? :| dzo dzin
- Only bad girls say "of course" when someone compliment her
- 3:-o
- Good girls say "wa' khen" 3:-o
- ...

3. Ngày bắt đầu bằng đt của mẹ: "ăn sáng chưa, uống sữa chưa, ăn sữa chua chưa, nấu cơm chưa"
ngẩng đầu lên nhìn thì mới 9giờ. WTH.

4. Tại sao lại cứ phải nói ra những điều ng ta đã hong mún nói? hay là để chứng tỏ mình hiểu người khác lắm? :|
Như 1 mũi tên găm vào tim.
Anw, ko cần biết những gì đã qua là sai lầm hay đúng đắn, tôi đã đi qua hết rồi, bỏ lại rồi.
Không muốn tin vào quá khứ hay tương lai nữa.

"Em đừng tin gì, không tin gì hết. Em sẽ không còn là nô lệ của những gì đã, đang, và sẽ diễn ra. Lúc ấy thế giới sẽ trở nên sáng rỡ và đẹp đẽ."

Thế đấy.

5. Đến Yên.
Mơ 1 căn nhà nhiều ánh sáng. Bé nhỏ.

6. Mới phát hiện 1 chỗ mướn truyện tranh. Mèng, ra đó gom về 1 chồng nằm khểnh chân đọc là đúng style mùa hè của em lun gòi ;'( mà hết cả thơi gian để tận hưởng huhu

ngay 29 thang 5 nam 2009

1. mình đã tốt nghiệp...!
I dont know what I'm feeling now, but... it's a lot!

2. how touched can you be, when someone replies "I do it everyday " to your SMS "wish me luck for tomorrow"?
Even if he's bluffing, I cannot care less.

3. am i less and less intolerant? not a gentle and forgiving and easy going girl any more.
There are some jokes that I cannot stand.
Next time I won't avoid confronting 3:-o (sounds scary huh?) so better watch your words.

quote

Rim: bibi. Rìm xinh đi ngủ đây.
Rim: Rìm xinh đi ngủ và mơ về một ngày Rìm xinh hơn :x

hm

hm, :|
bắt đầu feeling out gòi nè nha :|

anw, watever :| if you are my friend, then you would stay that way. If not, how can I blame you? I'm boring anw.

viet nham

tui đã đọc xong Tôi là Corriander :| không thích lắm. Quá là cổ tích đi. Cổ tích thì đọc chơi cho vui, chứ hong đọng lại quá nhiều, vì nó xa mù quá. Nó thậm chí còn xa mù hơn những truyện cổ tích hiện đại kỉu Harry Potter. Hòang tử đẹp trai iu công chúa đẹp gái từ cái nhìn đầu tiên. Những kẻ xấu xa sẽ có gương mặt xấu xí, giọng nói gớm ghiếc the thé, thân hình mập lù ti tiện :|

Blog mang ti'nh thu tuc :|

vì rằng có 1 bà kia rảnh rỗi wá xá mà hong có gì đọc, tui đành fải lụi cụi vít blog T__T

tui cũng mún đọc thử truyện Nhím thanh lịch. Dù gì thì tui cũng thích 1 câu ở trong đó
"ngày lại ngày chúng tôi đi qua đời mình như người ta đi qua một hành lang"
cái câu đó làm tui liên tưởng đến All the world is green. Nghe bài hát đó, và đọc câu này, đều tưởng tượng đến mưa rả rích. Thôi, chả hiểu sao đâu, đừng có hỏi :">

tui vừa đem quyển "Tôi là Coriander" về mà chưa đọc, Sannya cho muợn. Tự lấy lí do chưa có thời gian, nhưng tui đóan là tại tui lười + chưa có ai marketing cho tui nhìu lắm, nên tui chưa thấy sức hấp dẫn của nó :">
Bà Lud ghét truyện nói nhìu, chứ tui khóai truyện nói nhìu, coi cách ng ta shi nghĩ như nào, đương nhiên là nếu cách suy nghĩ đẹp thì sẽ hấp dẫn tui, chứ đen thùi lùi thì ai mà dám coi :|

Chắc từ mai fải vô office rồi T_T có station rồi, hết trốn nha em T_T thui kệ, dù gì cũng là đi làm :@) chắc là sẽ sống điều độ hơn chẳng hạn T_T

(tui vừa tắm xong. Tui có 3 chai sữa tắm nhỏ xíu của Bodyshop, mỗi lọai 1 mùi, mua từ hồi sale off, có 2,5 SGD 1 chai à :)) mỗi lần tui lại xài 1 lọai khác nhau. Bình thường thì xài Jasmine, vui tươi nhí nhảnh cá cảnh thì xài mùi quít ngọt ngọt. Còn những lúc tắm khuya, tui xài lọai hương hoa Moringa (hong bít rõ là gì, nhưng mùi giống hoa lài :|). Relaxing, tươi mát và dịu dàng như gió đêm vậy, tui để dành cho riêng mình tui thôi. (cùng lắm LL ngủ chung thì ngủi thấy :))).
Bodyshop lai đang sale nữa, mình có nên mua nữa hem ta :|

Bữa này để status "I hope God (or whoever is able to) bless my friends' broken roads". Thịêt lòng mong như dzị. Chả biết nói gì khác hết trơn. Buồn hiu. Buồn hơn nhìu lần khi biết LL sẽ về VN. Vậy đó. Mà thui, hong đc bùn nữa, bít đâu mọi thứ sẽ suôn sẻ, chưa gì hết mà, fải hong :D

Ôi, cuộc sống ơi, làm ơn đừng quá khó khăn như thế...

How is it?

How is it, your life without me?
Mine is good. Mine is fine.
:)

-----------------

:)

i scan my YM list to find someone to comfort me.
Found none.
anw,
whatever doesn't kill me will make me stronger...
this one will not kill me, for sure.

gonna be a white night

hi`.

Ngoan nào ngoan nào

Tui bé nhỏ nhưng tui không yếu đuối.
Tui bé nhỏ nhưng tui không yếu đuối
tui bé nhẻ nhưng tui hông yếu đuối
tui bé nhỏ nhưng tui không yếu đu6ối
tui bé nhỏ nhưng tui không yếu đuối.

tui tỉnh bơ. tui bình thường.
tui tỉnh queo, tui tỉnh queo. tui thờ ơ. tui sao cũng được.

tui chả sao cả.

tất cả mọi thứ đều ổn.
không vội, không vội.

:| tại seo

(blog viết từ hồi sáng, giờ mới up)

Thiệt là khó hiểu.

Mình có lớp lúc 9 giờ sáng. Hôm qua thức đên 4 giờ sáng. Sáng dậy, mắt nhắm mắt mở, làm biếng và bùn ngủ, cho nên không hề có ý định đi học đúng giờ. Tuần nào mình cũng đi lớp này trễ nửa tiếng. Tuần này chắc cũng vậy.

Vậy mà bây giờ, mình ngồi đây, lớp vắng hoe, bởi vì mình tới lớp vào lúc 8giờ rưỡi :| trong khi mình đang đinh ninh sẽ trễ nửa tiếng :|

Và mới vừa rồi đây khi mình đang viết blog này thì alarm của mình mới bắt đầu kêu réo inh ỏi @___@

Là cái gì xảy ra với mình vậy T____T

Updated: lúc sau, 2 giờ mới đi ăn trưa, bụng đói meo, đừng order đồ ăn. Tự dưng nhìn thấy cái đồng hồ chỗ quầy ăn chỉ 1 giờ. Dụi dụi mắt @____@, chị bán cơm thấy vậy mới nói "à, đồng hồ chạy chậm 1 tiếng đó". Hết hồn, bữa nay ngày gì vậy hong biết.

Ba lô của mình bị rách rồi. Bư cho cái ba lô mới nhưng mà bé quá đựng không đủ :(( đựng laptop với charger là hết béng mất chỗ rồi T___T

Balo này mình mua với giá 12 đô :| và đến bây giờ vẫn chưa biết nên mua cái nào mới. Muốn có balo to bự để đựng nhiều đồ mà lại sợ nặng. huhu, fải chi mình khỏe, vác cả chục kg không xi nhê nhở :D, chắc mình sẽ mang hết tất cả những gì có thể mang đc.

(giờ này vẫn chưa có ai vô, và mình thì freezing, canteen thì ở xa, trời ơi :|)

Cẩm Hà confirm là sẽ về Việt Nam. Thế đó. Hỏi sao mà không nghĩ? Các bạn bỏ tui … Uh thì thui bỏ đi, haiz. Dù gì, tui cũng mừng cho các bạn mà… :D thiệt.

Nightmares. Vậy đó. Ghét nhất là nỗi sợ.

Hôm nay và sáng mai có mấy thứ cần làm:

- Email cho mẹ, chời ơi đừng có quên oeoe

- Nộp bài report NM3216(mém quên o__O)

- Học bài ngày mai đi meeting

- Email cho project mate, để mai meeting.

- Reply mail của boss óe óe.

Đói quá T____T bùn ngủ nữa.

Ngày nhạt nhòa trôi. Tự dưng thấy hết vui rồi :| Tính tình gì mà mưa nắng thất thường , mau chán quá đi, mình đúng là chưa lớn, hì hì. Chừng gặp đúng người đi thì sẽ lớn. Uh, dream guy ơi, xuất hiện đi nào :D

Ngày bình thường

mặc dù đang họp project mà cũng ráng lẻn ra đi coi presentation của xuki môn CS3216, bạn thấy bạn đc ưu tiên chưa ;;) (có nhìu người khen game của bạn lắm đó :D)

Lẻn ra nên fải về sớm. Lúc về, nói thằng Frog:

Rìm: Eh chị về nha.
Frog: chời, về đi ai thèm giữ đâu mà cũng fải thông báo. Làm như quý hóa lắm [-(
Rìm [liếc 1 cái, nhún vai, quay qua thằng Tòan]: coi đây nè
Rìm: Tòan ơi, chị về đây
Tòan: ôi chị về à, ôi sao chị lại về, chị ở lại đây tiếp đi, ở lại khen em :((
Rìm [quay sang Frog]: :->
Frog: @_____@ .....

(thằng Tòan là designer của game này, công nhận vẽ đẹp dã man :D)

Pearlita

mắm Ngọc sắp sang đây rồi.
Nó bảo "bà là the first to know đó, trước Cá Mè luôn"
nghe mà ngẩn ngơ.

ngộ ghê, đó giờ chưa bao giờ nghĩ lại thân với đứa như nó :@) nhất là thấy mấy đứa bạn RMIT của nó @___@

mấy đứa ở VN, chắc nó chat với mình nhìu nhất :@) lâu lâu lại "eh tui chán wá, bà đâu gòi chat coi" b-( đồ heo (mà dạo này bận hơn nên mình ít reply nó, thiệt tội lỗi :-ss)

Wa đây đi, mình đi chơi đi chơi hí hí :"> biết bà nhớ tui chịu hỏng nổi mà